hello benj

It's not like I need another online outlet to blabber about my issues, right? And just like any other millennial, I too have a blog I have forgotten since I stopped having free time and "life" started to happen.  But now that life really is starting to happen, I revert back to this blank page. To this blinking dash on my screen waiting for me to write the next word that pops into my mind. I guess, that apart from my ego, this blinking dash is the only thing that is waiting for me to write again. Ah, writing. What a fun anecdote. I think of writing in the form of success. Books after book written into being a New York Times Bestseller *crowd goes wild!* or a story that goes viral because of witty writing. But right now, writing is this. An outlet for a 20-something, hardly making it millennial that doesn't have much to say except, life's a fucking bitch. Because in a world of mindless monsters, including myself, I still find the world to be so mind-boggling that ca...

I am alive and well and am ready to take on the world. Well, at least my world. Exercising makes me happy. Okay that's enough mind barf. thanks till next time!

  Okay, so it has been a while... And this might just be another shot at "reviving" my writing practice but here I am, writing for this blog again. The familiar times new roman font from the drafting page and the icons surrounding it feel like home somehow. Here's what I can see rn: Life lately has been weirdly calm then busting at the seams the next. I've been cooking a lot which makes me happy. I have painted a bit as well. Oh, and we moved. Lots of happenings happened since I last wrote here. I would like to think that I also experienced growth. I believe I have grown, and I'm grateful for that. What actually led me to write again, especially here, is for the same reason I craved my coffee every morning: I needed something to ground me. And although journalling on paper did help a lot, there's something with writing to this blog that no one really comes to anymore, that makes it seem final. Like hitting that orange button that says publish releases the thou...

Ahh, here it goes again. I'm once again not wanting to do anything. I mean, I want to do stuff but not the ones I have to. I think I should just start now instead of later. So I can get it over with. I am now just realizing how I don't like this.

Hello. How are you? It's been so long. Writing as if I'm speaking to someone feels natural, and crazy. I know no one would probably read this but me, but I want to publish it. As if hitting that orange button with the word "Publish" on it is somehow going to change the way I'm feeling right now. I am lost. Very, very lost. My mind wants to be in this stable, no-fuss, high-paying career choice but my heart still is longing for the freelance stuff I talked about 2-3 years ago. Remember? The "working as a barista during the day and creating for clients at night" typa stuff? The longing is still here and I can't shake it off any longer. Now, my heart hurts whenever I see an Etsy seller in her home studio. My stomach churns whenever I get a glimpse of the life of the many many self-made entrepreneurs that I watch on YouTube. My heart is in pain because even though I try to stop myself from thinking it, my brain sputters out the words ...

I have so much freaking stuff to do, but here I am, writing my thoughts out into the world. Why??? Because I want to. I've been such a give it to me right now  person lately that every time I feel like doing something else other than my own responsibilities, I bail. I bail and I eat yogurt and watch YouTube. Monday was such a good day for me. I started work really early and I even stopped working before it got late. I had a good Monday... now it's Friday and I don't know how to feel... my Monday Vibe completely was ran over the fact that I'm a master procrastinator. And a lazy-ass who overindulges in the mini things that are soo soooooo good for me, but bad for my work ethic that procrastination brings. I hate this feeling. It's such a vicious, vicious cycle. Okay, that's enough self-loathing. One blogpost breakdown is good. Time to get back up and start working again! hahahaah i know, i confuse my self too. Thanks for reading!

I don't write anymore. Not like the way I did before. It was such an amazing thing for me, about 2-3 years ago. I was pouring out my heart, soul and sometimes, my fried brain to a minuscule glitch in the interwebs that is this blog. I loved it, I thought I could make a living out of it like the bloggers that I grew up reading about and aspiring to become. But pretty pictures took over and I felt the pressure to become skinny, pretty and frizz-free to attain the standard of a blogger-becoming-artista. I want to leave the blog and accept that blogging is dead. But I realized that blogging might be dead, but writing isn't. And it never will be. So here I am, claiming this blog once again and making this the home that it once was for my thoughts, arty blurbs and creative zaps. For me, it didn't matter who read my content. It didn't matter that it didn't make sense to others. And I realized, that I've grown to not give a fuck about what others think. ...

I'm not even gonna say sorry or whatever to make up for lost time. I'm just honestly so fucking annoyed about how lazy I've been and how many excuses I've made just to delay publishing a blog post or even trying to re-design this shit and pass it on to Wix to get a fucking domain already. I'm swearing so much. God. Ahh. Anyway, I just want to let you know that this is not a comeback (as if I have anything to come back to). I'm guessing not a lot will read my blog still since I've been fucking MIA for about a year. I've lost the handful of readers I had and it's all because I've been overthinking EVERYTHING. Next week, I'll post. I promise you that, whoever is reading this. I will post whatever I freaking want and promise you still that it'll be cute content so you'd want to read it and also, it's so that I won't feel sorry for my self for being such a lazy piece of *cute ass* shit. Sorry for swearing too much. Not...

Hello, from my work desk!  I missed Blogger's blank page so much and I'm getting all kinds of good, giddy vibes while typing this. Anyhoo, here's a Life Lately post for you to binge-read on if you want to. It will probably be long (long actually is an understatement) but I hope you have fun reading it! So, a bunch of different things had happened in my life for the past few months. Some moments are happy. Sadly, a good chunk of the moments are sad and, dare I say, tragic. I won't go into much details but don't worry, you'll know what you need to know. Work is still work If you've been following me on Instagram (shameless plug @hellobennj) , you'll know that I've been dabbling with freelance work lately and I'm extremely grateful for it. It gives me an escape from my nine-to-six job which is... mundane but very challenging. I am slowly but surely growing and learning a lot from the tasks I am assigned to. It's challenging me ...

Here it is, ladies and gents! The much awaited (by nobody but I'm so excited for this that I'm exaggerating everything hahaha) Hello Benj Giveaway!!! I am so happy I get to do this for you, my dear readers. It's about damn time that I give something back to those who legit read my blog. But if you are a new comer, hello and welcome! This is where girls and guys who like art, beauty and mindless but mind blowing (told you, exaggerating) blabber from a twenty-something girla-loo hahaha I'm soo excited I'm spitting out words I don't usually use here on the blog! But oh, well :) Back to the giveaway!!!                             I divided the giveaway into two categories: Stationary and Beauty . They're two of my favorite things in the world. I would die (exaggerating again) if I was given free stationary supplies! Anyhoo, the first on the list is this set I call "The GirlBoss Set." Here we  have 2 To-D...

        I don't have an ultimate favorite art piece. I can never decide which one I love the most. But I do have a list of ones that has made the most impact in my life. All ranging from the classics to today's modern digital works, here are a couple of art pieces that made my heart flyyyyyyy. 1. Van Gogh's Starry Night       It's not a secret that my love for this artwork is deeper than any feeling I have for any other art piece there is. My undying love for the night sky is one of the reasons why but the story behind this art piece is what made me adore it more. The Starry Night is an oil painting by Vincent van Gogh. He painted Starry Night when he was inside his studio in an asylum at Saint Remy de Provence on June 1889. It was said that he painted this just before sunrise about a year prior to his death. It was said as well that this painting was based on what he could see beyond his window inside his bedroom at Saint Remy. No one ever ...

This has got to be one of my favorite photo sets of all time. I've been itching to shoot here since college days (talking about college as if it was ages ago when it actually is just months ago hahaha) . I think every Cebuano would know where this spot is located but if you don't, it actually is just beside Infinity Bar. I've always been a fan of film-inspired photos and this set was such a thrill to edit. I had the best time layering scratches after scratches and looking for ways to incorporate my own style to these photos. Thanks to Hanna Banana for induging my 90s neon, grunge need. Love you to bits. Pullovers : Uniqlo Denim Skirt: Thrifted White Sneaks : Stans Smiths Specs: Sunnies Face : tnx parents hahaha Some of the shots actually reminded me of Brandon Woelfel but more street-style. Ever since a friend of mine told me about him (Brandon), I was instantly hooked. It's not his style though, that made me love his photos. Actually, it...

There is more to this day than just this workshop and I promise I'll tell you all about it but for now, I give you a glimpse of what it's like to attend a workshop organized by Cebu Content Creators on a Saturday afternoon.  The workshop, by the way, is called Blogging for First-Timers   and it was hash tagged as #BFFWorkshop . It was held at Handuraw, Mango last July 29, 2017 . When I found out about the workshop, truth be told, I was hesitant to register. I had a bad experience with a blogging workshop last June. It was a total scam. I won't say any detail about the last workshop I attended because I don't want them to have any kind of traffic/views/searches. Good thing I didn't let my fear of being scammed again stop me and registered for this one though. I wouldn't have known all the things that they shared and taught us. 06.2017. #TatakC3 A post shared by Cebu Content Creators (@cebucontentcreators) on May 30, 2017 at 9:20pm PDT ...