Hello. How are you? It's been so long. Writing as if I'm speaking to someone feels natural, and crazy. I know no one would probably read this but me, but I want to publish it. As if hitting that orange button with the word "Publish" on it is somehow going to change the way I'm feeling right now. I am lost. Very, very lost. My mind wants to be in this stable, no-fuss, high-paying career choice but my heart still is longing for the freelance stuff I talked about 2-3 years ago. Remember? The "working as a barista during the day and creating for clients at night" typa stuff? The longing is still here and I can't shake it off any longer. Now, my heart hurts whenever I see an Etsy seller in her home studio. My stomach churns whenever I get a glimpse of the life of the many many self-made entrepreneurs that I watch on YouTube. My heart is in pain because even though I try to stop myself from thinking it, my brain sputters out the words &qu