As some of you know, I recently graduated just this April and the pressure that comes with being unemployed is killing me. I never really thought of it before. I was actually even eager to finish school and dip my toes in the professional world but now that I'm finally on the shore, I can't bring myself to move forward and feel the cold waters that real life has yet to offer.
I had a plan, actually.
I planned on applying as a Starbucks Barista because if you know me, you'll know that it has been one of my biggest dreams to work as a barista and where better else than my favorite (please don't call me basic) coffee shop? I know I didn't take an HRM course or any course related to food, preparing drinks, whatever. I took up Advertising Arts for crying out loud and I don't regret it for one single bit. Its just that I know that I'm young and if there is any time for me to try out different things, it's now, right? Sadly, my Aunt and Uncle couldn't understand my desire to work in a cafe. It's a waste of my education, they said. And I guess, I totally understand where they're coming from.
Back to the plan!
So, Starbucks Barista and the world of freelance visual artistry.
I've been freelancing for God knows how long. I've had several projects that I've worked on and I'm confident enough that if I put in the time and effort, I can (and I will) succeed in getting more and more clients to work with. It might sound cocky, but I know my strengths.
I saw myself working an 8-hour job at Starbucks with happy, fast-moving friends facing customers that are eager to drink their favorite cup of tea or coffee. Then, right after my shift, I'll stay in the cafe as I work on my freelance projects, happily sipping my iced americano and meeting clients, pitching them ideas for their wedding invitations, logos and whatnots. I saw it in my mind, guys. I was happy and... contented. Undisturbed by the prejudice, anxiety and stress that life gives not because what I was doing was easy but because what I was doing was what I wanted.
I was eager to work on my portfolio, to grow as an artist in a field that I loved and I know I can do well.... yet, I'm not doing that. I'm not even close to that path.
I'm now trying to find a job online and I had my first interview this week, actually. I wasn't accepted. It took a toll on my confidence and I was deeply hurt not because I thought I was stupid or whatever negative thought about my abilities as a person. It's because I have to do it again. I have to go through the journey of looking for a job that fits my course because that is what's right.
Tomorrow, I'll be applying as a Multimedia Producer for a company. I'm not going to say where. I might jinx it. But I do hope I get the job. I think that if I could just endure this stage of my life, I will finally get to the part where I serve coffee and make art for a living everyday of my life.
As for now, I gotta make a living.